Tetiana Yevtushok

Psychologist. Gestalt therapist. Coach. Trainer. Supervisor

Embracing life’s challenges: Turning pain into growth

  • Gestalt therapy

Every moment of our lives is shaped by the way we interact with the world. These interactions, occurring at the ever-changing boundary between ourselves and our environment, are deeply personal. Each of us experiences them uniquely, influenced by the patterns and events of our past—especially our formative years. These experiences shape how we perceive and manage the boundaries between ourselves and others, between our inner and outer worlds.

Amid these experiences, we all encounter moments when life’s deeper questions rise to the surface. These are times when we grapple with meaning, purpose, and our place in the world. Such moments, often referred to as existential crises, are deeply unsettling but also profoundly transformative. Philosopher Karl Jaspers described these moments as “boundary situations”—unchangeable truths that define the human condition. They force us to confront the realities that underlie our existence, such as:

  • The finality of life
  • The inevitability of suffering
  • The necessity of struggle
  • The unpredictability of chance
  • The weight of guilt

Boundary situations often trigger existential crises, moments of profound doubt and questioning. At some point, these realities touch us all. They show up as loss, illness, impossibilities, painful coincidences, and overwhelming feelings of anxiety, fear, or grief. These moments, though universal, can feel intensely isolating, leading us to question the meaning of our struggles and the value of our existence.

Paradoxically, these very crises and unchangeable realities can become powerful sources of personal growth and transformation. They challenge us to look inward, reevaluate our lives, and create a richer, more meaningful existence.


Discovering Growth Within Boundaries

Therapy, introspection, and meaningful connection allow us to explore the hidden potential within life’s toughest challenges. By reframing existential crises as opportunities for growth, we can uncover new ways to live with greater purpose and satisfaction. Let’s delve into how these boundary situations, though difficult, can ultimately serve as catalysts for transformation.

1. The Finality of Life

The awareness of mortality is one of the most profound existential challenges we face. Fear of death, which often accompanies existential crises, forces us to confront the finite nature of our time on Earth.

This fear, however, carries a deeper message: it signals the presence of untapped potential within us. Rather than seeing the end of life as a limitation, we can view it as a call to live fully. This awareness inspires us to focus on what truly matters—fostering relationships, pursuing meaningful work, and savoring the beauty of the present moment. Mortality, though frightening, can push us to create a legacy that resonates long after we’re gone, turning an existential crisis into a celebration of life.

2. The Inevitability of Suffering

Suffering is a universal human experience, and it often triggers existential questions about fairness, purpose, and resilience. Whether it stems from loss, illness, or unfulfilled desires, suffering forces us to confront our limitations.

While the instinct may be to avoid or numb this pain, doing so robs us of the opportunity to grow. Through suffering, we learn resilience. We develop the strength to navigate grief, sadness, and sorrow. Moreover, suffering often becomes a doorway to creativity and innovation. People have turned their pain into art, music, literature, scientific breakthroughs, and acts of compassion. By engaging with our suffering, we discover ways to adapt and build a more meaningful reality.

3. The Necessity of Struggle

Struggle, another hallmark of existential crises, challenges us to question our capacity for growth and perseverance. Life often requires us to fight for what we need or believe in. Struggle, though uncomfortable, drives us to build inner strength.

It pushes us to take action, resolve conflicts, and assert our needs while respecting the needs of others. Struggle teaches us discipline, empathy, and the importance of choice. Through these challenges, we learn to channel our energy in ways that benefit not only ourselves but also the people around us. By embracing struggle as a natural part of life, we grow into stronger, more compassionate individuals.

4. The Unpredictability of Chance

Chance events—those unexpected moments that throw our lives off course—highlight the uncertainty of existence. They can provoke existential questions about control, fate, and the randomness of life.

These moments can feel deeply unsettling, as they expose our vulnerability and powerlessness. Yet, accepting the role of chance in life allows us to find peace in uncertainty. When we focus on doing our best, regardless of the outcome, we free ourselves from unnecessary blame or self-pity. Instead of feeling like victims of circumstance, we can act with integrity and let the rest unfold as it may.

5. The Weight of Guilt

Guilt arises because every choice we make excludes countless other possibilities. This existential guilt, which often emerges during crises, reflects the depth of our freedom and responsibility as human beings.

Initially, guilt may lead to despair. However, it can also become a powerful motivator for growth. By acknowledging the limits of our choices, we can commit to improving the world in ways that matter. Guilt, when reframed, encourages us to act with compassion and purpose.


Pain as a Catalyst for Creation

Pain, both physical and emotional, often feels like an unbearable emptiness. It signals unmet needs or unresolved desires. Rather than running from this pain, we can choose to see it as a guide. It points us toward areas of growth and self-discovery, offering clues about what matters most.

Existential crises often deepen this pain, making us question our purpose and value. However, these moments of doubt also carry the seeds of transformation. When we engage with our pain, we unlock its potential to guide us toward deeper self-understanding and creative expression.


Transforming Pain into Beauty

When pain arises, consider it an opportunity to create. Whether through writing, painting, playing music, or building something new, creative expression allows us to process and transform our emotions. At first, this might feel symbolic or childlike, but over time, these efforts can lead to profound personal and artistic growth.

Pain isn’t just a challenge to overcome—it’s an opportunity to transcend. By engaging with it, we can transform emptiness into vibrancy and despair into hope. Each act of creation becomes a testament to our resilience and a contribution to the beauty of the world.


The Power of Creation

If you’re hurting—whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually—try to channel those feelings into something meaningful. Write, draw, sculpt, or sing. Let your pain guide you toward self-expression and growth. Over time, these creative acts will shape your life into a masterpiece, one that is both deeply personal and universally inspiring.

Pain speaks to us, inviting us to connect with our inner selves and with the world. When existential crises arise, they amplify this call, urging us to reevaluate our priorities, rediscover our potential, and reshape our lives. By embracing pain and the questions it raises, we not only heal but also create something beautiful—proof that even in our darkest moments, we have the power to bring light into the world.

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